You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
