There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
