I'm going to jail i love you
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
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