R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
