nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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