hotel room ftw
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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