Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
