What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
