you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
