went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I am naked and annoyed.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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