I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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