She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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