I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
