i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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