Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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