Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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