Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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