Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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