GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Randomize
