you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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