how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
