i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
