very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
