I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
