She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
