Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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