You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
