..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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