I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
