He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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