Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
