What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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