I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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