addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
