You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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