Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Randomize
