all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
