you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
