just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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