Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
