i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
