here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
