roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
