Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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