I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
