I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Let's get the cat blown out
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
