Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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