you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
