I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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