dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
