i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
