its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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