we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
