um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
they need to just BURY HIM!
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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