I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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