the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
