i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
