oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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