Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I FOUND THE LEGS
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
