chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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