I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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