Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
