weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
