every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
