i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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