With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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